I had an entirely different post planned for today, but after putting Keenan down for his nap and having some quiet time to myself, I started thinking about life, when Keenan was first born and how different things are going to be in a mere few weeks. With preparing for baby#2, I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting lately, especially as I’m going through all of Keenan’s old things and getting the room ready. It seems like yesterday when Keenan was born, and I can’t believe he is almost three and a half with a sister or a brother on the way. It’s crazy how fast time flies and how much faster our little ones grow up!
Being silly wearing my new shower cap!
Although I remember what life was like before we had Keenan, I can’t imagine my life without him. Those five years of marriage before my husband and I decided to start a family seem like a blur since our life is so much richer now that we have Keenan. Prior to him being born, my husband and I did a lot of traveling, and I loved my career (which I anticipated keeping after we decided to start a family). Life with a dual income was nice and we certainly enjoyed a few luxuries that we weren’t ready to part with.
After Keenan was born, everything changed. I fell head over heels in love with my new little guy and I couldn’t imagine leaving him with anyone. I embraced my new role as a mom and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else at that moment in my life. Unfortunately, I had to go back to work when Keenan was five months old. After working for six months, I couldn’t take it anymore. My company was going through some major changes and combined with my longing to spend my days with Keenan, I decided to resign. To this day, it has been the best decision I have ever made.
Don’t get me wrong, being with Keenan isn’t always rosy colored and sweet. There are many days where I long for a break, such as when dealing with tantrums, not wanting to listen or refusing to sleep. But, would I change it? Never. We have so many wonderful days of playing outside, building lego houses, putting puzzles together, taking bike rides, singing, dancing, laughing, telling jokes and most importantly, seeing the world through Keenan’s eyes.
Sometimes I catch my mind wondering…thinking about everything that needs to get done around the house, working on my coaching business or even thinking about my previous career, but it’s the little moments that bring me back to reality and make me realize how blessed I truly am. Take this morning for example…as I was walking Lulu while Keenan rode his bike, I was becoming frustrated because Keenan kept stopping to look at everything around him. We would ride (very slow at that) for only a very short distance before stopping again and sometimes getting off his bike. Being that lunch and nap time were near, I wanted to get home soon. But, as I thought about it, I realized that I was being unreasonable and putting my agenda first. I wasn’t being present in the moment and cherishing the time with Keenan. He is a very curious child and he was just observing and taking everything in. After that moment, I immediately stopped feeling irritated and started enjoying the time with him, especially since these are some of the last one-on-one moments I will have with Keenan.
In a month (or less), life as I know it will change and I will be adjusting to a new routine with two kids. I’m excited, anxious, nervous and sad all at the same time. I love having my one-on-one time with Keenan and I worry that I won’t have those moments once the new baby is here. I also worry that I won’t have the one-on-one time with baby #2 as I had with Keenan for the past three and a half years. I know I will make things work, we will all adjust and Keenan will be a wonderful big brother, but I can’t help thinking about how much different our little life will be. Life changed as I knew it (in a good way) when Keenan was born and I know it will only change for the better once our new addition arrives.
When I look at my life in the present moment, I can truly say that I’m right where I am supposed to be. I have no regrets and I love the time I get to spend with Keenan and soon with our new little one. Do I feel like I have sacrificed myself or identity after I started a family? Absolutely not. I feel like I’ve gained so much more in life after having kids. I still invest in myself, taking time for “me” and keeping my passion alive for health and wellness through this blog and starting my own business. I love where I’m at, even though things have certainly changed financially (with pretty much one income) and we can no longer do some of the things we used to do prior to having kids. Life is actually simpler and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
Questions:
Do you believe you are right where you are supposed to be in life?
What was the best decision you ever made?
I feel like I’m getting to where I need to be in life, but not yet there as such. I’m learning a lot and growing a lot and it’s really exciting!
The best decision I ever made, hmm. There’s probably two – the first was sticking with Jesse. We had a 10,000 mile long distance relationship and it was at times so incredibly hard, but I knew it was right. The second was throwing my fears to the wind and doing what I wanted in life. I have an incredible career that no one ever thought was possible for a girl who was once crippled by anxiety and also who jumped straight into her own business without ever going to university. Sometimes you just have to ignore everyone and go after what you believe in – and I did that with Jesse too!
What you say is so true. Life is about taking risks and going after what you believe in. What matters most is what makes you happy, not anyone else.
Great post Melissa! I was smiling and shaking my head in agreement through the entire post. Especially the part about getting impatient as he continued to stop and take his time on the bike ride. We went through that exact thing yesterday and I had to continue to remind myself to slow down and enjoy it! Before you know it you’ll have a routine down with two and will love it just as much 🙂
Thanks, Giselle! It’s so easy to get in a hurry and be impatient, but they grow up too fast to not cherish the moments and see life through our little ones’ eyes.
This post made me smile and brought back some memories. My boys are 2.5 years apart and I remember that time of knowing that life was going to change (again). It was definitely an adjustment going from 1 to 2 but I loved it.
Now, like you, my life might not be the way I imagined it when I was 20 but I love it and can’t imagine it any other way!!!
I can’t imagine my life any other way and I love every bit of it!
I love this post so much! I totally related to you changing your attitude from frustration to seeing the world through Keenan’s eyes on that bike ride. I am also blessed to be able to spend a lot of time at home with my little guy, and like you, I wouldn’t change it for the world!
Thanks, Carly! It’s very easy to get frustrated or impatient at times, but I have to remind myself our little ones are discovering everything for the first time and we need to slow down and learn to see everything through their eyes.
That was a great blog, not only am I proud of you, but you make me proud.
Love you,
mom