When you say “home birth” most people just raise their eyebrows, nod their heads and say “interesting,” as they really aren’t sure what to make of the whole concept. The idea of having a midwife and giving birth at home is often looked at as scary, dangerous or even witchcraft. The initial reaction of some of our family and friends that my husband and I told we were planning a home birth was, “why, are you crazy? Why would you NOT want to have your baby in a hospital in case something bad happened?”
First and foremost, let me just say that a home birth isn’t for everyone. It’s for low-risk pregnant women who haven’t had any complications during their pregnancy or a previous pregnancy. It’s for those women who want a natural, non-medicated birth, as midwives don’t carry any pain medication, i.e. epidural. I need to be clear: I’m not encouraging every low-risk pregnant woman to have a home birth. If someone isn’t comfortable with a situation, and can’t relax or allow herself to let go and fully engage in the birthing process, she shouldn’t chose a home birth, regardless of being risk- or complication-free. I chose to have a home birth because it made sense for us. It needs to feel right.
To be honest, I’m not sure why so many people fear home birth. If you take the time to research actual birth statistics, the numbers paint a much different picture than what is portrayed by popular belief. Providing another human face for the statistics, Mayim Bialik (the former “Blossom” star and current actress on “The Big Bang Theory,” who also has her PhD in neuroscience) is doing a great job of informing women about home birth, debunking the myths and providing the realities of what can go wrong with hospital births after having her son at home. As Bialik says, birth seems to be portrayed as this horrific painful event in our society, especially when you see it in films.
For hundreds of years birth was actually done at home and by women (midwives). Home was a safe, secure and quiet place, thus the best place for women to labor in and give birth. Women’s bodies are built for birth, so why not let them do their thing, instead of administering unnecessary interventions? Giving birth isn’t easy, and I like to look at the intensity of it as the most intense workout your body will ever endure. A previous colleague of mine told me to think of birth that way–to think of each contraction as an interval, and the ultimate reward when you are finished is your baby. She was so right! I kept this in mind for both of my births, and it helped me get through each contraction until the end. As for coping with the intensity, I’m a big proponent for educating yourself on various pain management techniques. My husband and I took the Bradley Method when I was pregnant with Keenan and we used several of the relaxation techniques for both of my births that helped tremendously.
To answer the question, “what if something bad happens if you give birth at home?” there are a few things to keep in mind. Most importantly, midwives are highly trained to handle all kinds of complications, and carry equipment and medication to handle an unexpected situation if it should arise. There can be surprises with any birth, and being ready is key. Also, no professional midwife will approach a birth with limited information (they utilize ultrasounds and prenatal tests, the same as physicians), and will not continue a planned home birth if the mother’s or baby’s health dictates otherwise. Just as our midwife told us that she doesn’t like to take risks, midwives know when to transport to a hospital or to not even attempt a home birth if things change over the course of a pregnancy. Another issue to consider when discussing unexpected complications during a home birth is the distance and availability of emergency services and infrastructure. If you’re birthing at home and are transported to a hospital, and the hospital doesn’t keep specialists on 24-hour call (like our local hospitals), then the time it would take a specialist to arrive on-scene can be the same whether you’re birthing at home (and they meet you at the hospital), or birthing at the hospital (and you have to wait 20-40 minutes for the specialist to arrive). That situation is specific to our area, though. It’s important for mothers to realistically weigh ALL options, and keep safety a priority.
When I found out I was pregnant with Keenan I made an appointment with my OBGYN at the time and followed the normal doctor visits, not really knowing there were other options until my prenatal yoga instructor recommended the film, The Business of Being Born. I immediately rented it that night for my husband and I to watch. As soon as we finished watching the movie, we both had the same look on our faces and knew we needed to look into other birthing options and a better healthcare provider for the rest of my pregnancy (I was 20 weeks along at the time). The next day, I started researching other hospitals in the area that had midwives on staff, and offered alternative birthing options, such as water birth, the ability to labor freely and give birth NOT lying on your back in a bed. Luckily I found a great little hospital only 25 minutes from our house, Sutter Davis Hospital, that had a birthing center run by Certified Nurse Midwives (who did 98% of all births), and they did water births, which is what I wanted to try. I immediately made an appointment with the midwife clinic that was associated with Sutter Davis and got seen the next day. As I thought, I fell in love with the office. Our initial visit with our midwife was an hour. She took the time to listen, answer all of our questions and truly be interested in the well-being of me and our baby. After that visit I switched providers and no longer saw my OBGYN. I never looked back and I am so glad that I made the switch.
I had a wonderful birth with Keenan (three and a half years ago already!). It was everything I had imagined and planned for. I had a natural, non-medicated water birth in five hours, and my husband and I can honestly say that we brought Keenan into this world by ourselves (we’re the ones that delivered him!). Even though our midwife, nurses and doula were there, as soon as Keenan’s head crowned, our midwife prompted my husband (who was behind me, as I was leaning against him for support) to reach down, pull Keenan out and place him on my chest. It was a beautiful experience that I’ll always treasure.
After having such a beautiful birth with Keenan, I wanted to recreate that experience when we found out I was pregnant with baby #2 (Mirella). Since we had just moved back to my hometown, I knew it would be hard to have that same birth experience in a hospital-like setting like Sutter Davis, because none of the local hospitals offered alternative birthing options or had midwives on staff. On top of that, I had heard about several negative birthing experiences at a couple of our local hospitals that made my decision to have a home birth even easier. Since my family was not so keen on the idea of having a home birth, I did make appointments with a few OBGYNs in the area to possibly entertain the idea of a hospital birth and see what their policies and protocols were. But, after each visit, my mind was definitely made up. None of the physicians were advocates for any alternative birthing methods, aside from laying in a bed. They all had protocols for continuous fetal monitoring, immediate heploc for an IV no matter if you didn’t want an epidural or not, limited walking and movement during labor, induction if baby goes past due date by three days (and don’t even think about natural forms of induction).
No way did I want to be confined to or conformed to those protocols. After all, those “standards of care” for pregnant women in labor is what starts the vicious cycle as The Business of Being Born states–being given Pitocin to start labor, then contractions get so intense a woman gives into pain medication, which slows labor down, thus nothing progresses for a period of time and the baby’s heart rate plummets and boom, an emergency c-section needs to be done. It’s no wonder that the national c-section rate is 32% and California is right above that at 33%! I know not all c-sections happen that way, but there are a great majority of them that do, because physicians have timelines and women are put on a time clock as soon as they enter that hospital door.
With that being said, my husband and I interviewed three local midwives as soon as we moved back to my hometown. If we lived closer to Sutter Davis, we would have delivered our second baby there in a heartbeat–no questions asked–but being that Keenan came fast and the drive is an hour and a half with no traffic, we didn’t want to take any chances. After interviewing the third midwife, my husband and I both knew we wanted to go with her. We both connected with her and she had been practicing as a midwife for over eighteen years. Throughout the rest of my pregnancy, our midwife came to our home for most of our visits with the occasional visits at her office. All visits were an hour long; our midwife took the time to listen to all of our concerns and questions, making us feel like people, not just another patient. We did all of the normal routine lab tests and ultrasounds as you do in a regular OBGYN office, so aside from having hour long appointments in the comfort of our own home, most everything was the same (to an extent!).
On the day I gave birth to our sweet baby girl, everything went as smoothly and perfectly as I had hopped it would. Our midwife and her assistant were there, along with my husband and mom. We had another beautiful, natural water birth as we had with Keenan. This time, I was able to pull Mirella out by myself and welcome her to the world. It was truly the most magical and emotional experience of my life. I couldn’t have asked for a better birth. I’m truly blessed to have had two amazing, natural births with my children. Their births are experiences I’ll always treasure and I only hope that more women can have wonderful births, too (whether in a hospital, birthing center or at home).
Questions:
For all of you veteran mommies, did you take any childbirth education classes when you were pregnant?
Did your birth(s) go as you had planned?
Do you feel birth portrayed on television and in films is a good representation of it?
I’m more of a rookie mommy, but I can share my first experience! My husband and I did go to the childbirth classes at our local hospital. They were sometimes informative, but I was a little discouraged because they were big on pushing epidurals/pain meds. Though I didn’t know what to expect, I did know I wanted to do my best to have a natural birth. Whether that happened or not, our first concern was just doing what was best for the baby!
We did end up having a natural birth in the hospital and the doctor was respectful of my decision to have an un-medicated birth. The nurse and doctor gave me a strange look and warned me when my “last call” for meds was, but that was it. I think natural in-hospital birth isn’t a popular thing, in our hospital at least.
Looking back, I was a bit disappointed that the doctor broke my water for me and I had an episiotomy. Both were things I wanted to avoid, but when I asked during labor if they were really necessary, he said that they were “standard procedure”.
SO! After our son was born, THEN I watched the Business of Being Born and the sequel to that one. Wow… totally mind-blowing; I should have watched them before my first baby! For future babies, we want to do a water birth at home with a midwife. There is a wonderful midwife in our area, now the key is if the Lord chooses to bless us with another baby!
Thank you for sharing this post! I am always looking to learn more about home birthing and midwifery.
The Business of Being Born completely changed my view of birth and pregnancy. I think every pregnant woman should watch it, so they can make informed decisions about their health, instead of just doing whatever their doctor says (of course, doing what is best of the baby). I hope you are able to have a home birth the second time around, and I look forward to reading about it!
I think you are so strong to have had a home birth – and so brave to put this post out there knowing you might receive criticism. You chose what was best for your baby, your family and yourself and that’s all that matters.
Birth on tv and the movies tends to be so grotesque – and I think it scares so many people out of having natural births or even kids at all. Even society makes it out to be worse than it is – I’ve seen so many pregnant women being told horror stories by other women!
Thanks, Kristy. Society and TV make birth out to be so horrific; it’s awful. When I was pregnant with my son, I was told by so many women that birth was awful, not wonderful at all. They even doubted my ability to get through it without any drugs. Birth is a natural thing and our bodies are built for it, so why not let our bodies do what they are made to do?
I enjoyed reading all about how and why you chose the route you did for both of your babies births.
We took a class with our oldest son and everything went pretty much as expected.
Our 2nd son came 6 weeks early – lots of complications on my end but it all worked out fine in the end – he spent a week in the NICU and I had to have 2 units of blood a few hours after delivery.
I ‘m glad that you had such a great experience both times – what awesome memories!!
Thank you!
You know my story 🙂 But when pregnant with my first I took a childbirth course from a Lamaze certified instructor at the hospital and learned quite a bit. I researched more on my own regarding how to avoid a cesarean delivery and learned that avoidance of all interventions was key. Thankfully I was mostly supported in my hospital and achieved 90% of the birth I was hoping for. After that, I became a certified Lamaze instructor and taught classes IN the hospital encouraging NORMAL birth. Most women still chose epidurals, but I felt good that they were given all their options and learned that you don’t HAVE to do what the dr suggests JUST because they suggest it. ASK QUESTIONS and BE INFORMED! That’s the most important thing. With my 2nd I birthed again in the hospital, that time with a nurse midwife assisting vs an OB/GYN and most recently with the 3rd had a hospital water birth. I would strongly consider home birth however, if I had not been able to experience normal birth successfully in the hospital!
Yes, asking questions and being informed is so vital! You are so right in saying that you don’t HAVE to do what the dr. suggests. So many women feel that they need to do whatever their doctor suggests and you don’t! The decision is ultimately up to you and what you feel is best for you and your baby.
Wow! I’m so glad you explained this! I didn’t look into my other options with my pregnancy and while I had a great experience in the hospital, might do so the next time around. It sounds like such a special experience!
If it wasn’t for “The Business of Being Born,” I don’t think my experiences would have been as special. That film is truly an eye opener and there are so many great birthing options in the greater Sacramento area. I just wish more cities (like the one we live near) would offer the same opportunities.
It is crazy how similar our stories our! We also opted for a birthing center and natural birth with our first, after watching the Business of Being Born (and having a few friends who did home births). We had a wonderful birth experience and L was born in the tub. (We also took the Bradley classes and my husband served as the doula, although he didn’t catch the baby).
This time around, we want to re-create that. Like you, we’ve since moved and there are no birthing centers here, so it’s either a home birth or hospital birth. We’re running into some insurance issues, but our midwives do both, and they’ve made a space in the hospital as much like a birthing center as possible, so I’m hopeful that it will be another positive experience either way. But I would LOVE to have a home birth!
Oh, wow they ARE very similar! We ran into some insurance issues when planning our home birth, but our midwife’s assistant was very persistent and was able to get 80% of it covered (when our insurance told us that they wouldn’t cover a thing!). That is great that your midwives do both home and hospital births and they created a space much like a birthing center. Our midwife didn’t do hospital births and none of the hospitals offered such an environment. Well, I look forward to hearing more about your pregnancy and your birth!
Thanks for sharing this, Melissa. I didn’t know what to expect with my baby so I went with the hospital route, but I ended up having a (free) doula and she was telling me about her home birth. I am interested in the lamaze technique, most people have an almost pain free birth (from what I’ve read) which would be awesome haha! I enjoyed reading about your experience and so glad they were both pleasant!
We had a doula with my son and she was so helpful! I’m glad you had a great birth experience, too!
Oh my what a wonderful birth. I never really thought about home birth. But it sounds magical. Since we had so many complications with the twins it obviously wasn’t an option. Reading your story makes me cry, giving birth is so amazing. My births were all wonderful. I am so sad to never give birth again. I am so happy yours was so special. 🙂
Thanks Renee. Writing my birth story was hard, because I was still so emotional from the experience (but in a good way!). Giving birth is amazing and I will definitely be sad to never give birth again, too.